I’m still here

Although only barely some days.

If you don’t know, I have been attending PSU, getting my degree finally. I had the opportunity to go back to school so I decided it was now or never.

But that coupled with a toddler and a baby at home and it’s really been taking a lot out of me. I get very little sleep and, sadly, have had woefully little time to work on book three of The Ghost and the Mask.

When I sit down and look at it, I always think, yeah, I can do this. I can make it work. After all, I only need to get in about 400 words a day for the rest of the year and I should have a finished draft (assuming it isn’t quite as long as No Promises Large Enough). Maybe an hour a day, less if I’m particularly inspired.

Easy, right?

It sounds it, but when I’m getting an average of 3-4 hours of sleep a night (often not consecutively), it suddenly gets more difficult. And then there’s the research. Much of the time I spend on a book is not writing at all, but researching Japan and Japanese culture and myth.

Part of the problem is I’m a perfectionist and I need to get an A in every class. So far, so good. But it’s been a grind. I keep telling myself that I can slack a bit, I’ll still pass. But, nope. When I was younger, this would be exactly what I would have done. But now, it has to be an A.

Then there’s the fact that I often can’t even start my homework until after the kids are in bed and the kitchen is cleaned (one of my few house chores). 3am bedtime is far too frequent.

And here I am up at nearly midnight the night before spring term starts, writing this. I felt I had to. I had to do something related to my book at least, something for me. I had, of course, planned to write it much earlier today. And then, well… kids, etc.

Another issue is that I can get distracted. I don’t focus well sometimes. And it can take me longer to get things done than it should. I’ve been like this as long as I can remember, and I don’t expect it will ever change without some magical infusion of some sort.

I also have to reread everything ten times before I post/send etc. Essays, emails, you name it. And occasionally a typo still slips through!

Another 10 weeks and summer will be here. I’m only planning to take one class then. I hope to be able to catch up on my word count.

I’m not going to say I’ll post more here. I won’t promise any such thing. But I have a lot of old posts in drafts that I still like. Maybe I’ll waltz them out in between essays and whatnot.

Also, I’ve really been enjoying school. There are a lot of ideas and even stories from classes that I might put here too. Who knows?

This was a ramble.

Hope you are well in these strange and (for me) exhausting times.

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